Feet firmly placed on the floor, hands gently resting on the thighs, eyes closed and away...
In the darkness around me it was difficult to adjust my vision. I could clearly hear the rhythmic thump of my heart as it beat in my chest. And the familiar throb of it cascaded through my body like an old welcome friend.
While taking time to enjoy this connection and flow I felt my hand being taken. As I glanced down I could make out only the back of a small girl facing away from me, holding my hand and gently tugging for me to follow her.
There was a familiarity about this child. She couldn't have been more than six or seven, yet I had a distinct feeling as though we had met before. The thump in my chest grew a little deeper as an image of a small child laughing and clapping her hands together passed through me.
She was me, she was my eternal child, she was the one to whom all the joy and happiness I feel at a beautiful sunset belongs. It is from her that my innocence bursts forth, it is from her that my sense of wonder grows, and it is from her that trust and unconditional love flow.
Without turning around, her tugging at my hand became more insistent. She had something to show me and was determined I follow her. She led me confidently forward through the inky blackness.
With her sure footed steps I knew she was familiar with the terrain. One minute it felt as though we were walking on solid ground, others as though we were floating along. Always forwards, forever onward moving through the pitch darkness.
Then, as we took a step, a luminous glow reached up from below. Caressing our feet, up from our soles, snaking through our toes, gently licking our insteps with its viscous touch.
Bioluminescence, where fresh water meets salt, like the glistening waters of Jamaica's north coast lagoon; each step lit the floor with its brilliant light. I could see in the distance a dark rim becoming more visible as each step cast out a ring of light to highlight it.
As we approached the rim, the ring of light remained, throbbing in time with our steps, becoming brighter as we got closer. When we reached the edge, a circle of mirror-like darkness stretched before us shimmering in the central space.
My internal child pulled me down to sit at its edge, dangling her legs off into the expanse. I sat next to her in awe and wonder at the beauty of nothingness into which my legs descended. Looking around, the brilliance of the luminous rim throbbed against the stillness of the central space.
I found myself swinging my legs beneath me in time with the legs of my younger self. Each swinging movement brought ripples to the central darkness, like vibrations echoing through time and space.
My mind took me home to the safety of my little flat with my loving animals and my many plants. In an instant I was there, laying on my sofa, feline friends cuddled into my sides. Then my mind wandered to other places, and with each wandering I was immediately transported into that space, able to see, feel, hear, taste and touch with vivid reality.
All of a sudden I understood. This place, this beautiful luminous space, was a portal my internal child was sharing with me. A space of complete tranquillity from which I had the freedom to travel anywhere my mind could imagine. I had found the eye of life's storm, I had found the centre of my being, and in this space, all was well.
As the thought sat with me and my realisation dawned fully, I glanced back to my younger companion. She giggled in recognition of my understanding and leaned into my side, embracing me with comfortable hug. We sat, cuddled together at the centre of my being until it was time return.