Grief is a very difficult emotion to deal with. It must, however, be expressed to be resolved. The most frequent features of grief are psychological distress and anxiety, often resulting in outbursts of crying and anguish. Grief brings up feelings of loss and sometimes regret if there are issues left over that can never now by solved, and also guilt if you feel you let the person down somehow.
The sadness of Change
Anger at the person who has died, fear of the change this death will bring, a sense of confusion and bewilderment or a lack of reasons for the person's passing will upset your perceptions of the world. Oils will help to calm your emotions and will allow you to express them in order to bring acceptance and focus to carry on.
Blending Oils to Help Overcome Grief
All of these oils should be made using 35ml of the carrier oil of your choice and dispatched into easy-to-carry bottles.
Coping with Loss
2 drops juniper
1 drop rose
2 drops frankincense
5 drops sandalwood
Letting go of Guilt
2 drops bergamot
1 drop marjoram
2 drops melissa
2 drops benzoin
3 drops frankincense
Coping with Anger
1 drop juniper
3 drops lavender
6 drops sandalwood
3 drops mandarin
3 drops orange
2 drops chamomile
2 drops frankincense
Remedies for Fighting Grief
Use aromatherapy to avoid guilt, anger, loss and bewilderment that typify a period of grief, while still receiving the positive affects of these emotions.
Letting go of guilt
Guilt often stems from unresolved emotional issues, for which you blame yourself. Social norms are imposed on you from an early age and sometimes not meeting them makes you feel guilty.
When you feel guilty it's important to examine your feelings honestly. You can let go of guilt that others have placed on you - or that you placed on yourself for not living up to your standards - by forgiving yourself.
A positive atmosphere is vital for this to be achieved, so burn some 'letting go of guilt' oils in a burner and write all your feelings of guilt in a notebook, putting down everything that comes into your head, and feel the guilt dissipating as you do so.
Coping with Anger or Fear
Anger and fear are both emotions that produce a strong reaction in your body. Your mind sends chemical signals that flood your system with adrenaline, causing the flight, fight or freeze reflex and making you very tense.
The pulse points are the quickest areas of absorption into the body, and as such are very appropriate for applying a 'coping with anger or fear' blend of oils to ensure you benefit from the calming qualities wherever you are.
When possible, massage with oils to help you let go of emotions and as a powerful catharsis for releasing bottled-up feelings.
Coping with Loss
Loss is almost impossible to prepare for because it can strike at any time. Your mind does not like sudden unexpected change, which makes bereavement very difficult to cope with.
Loss tends to make you re-evaluate certain aspects of your life and it's important to take time for yourself to think things through.
Scented baths are a good way to do this as it allows you to lie still for a period of time, your energies focused by the fragrances of the blend on your emotions and your thoughts. Add a few drops of a 'coping with loss' blend to your pillow as well, so that your dreaming self also receives benefits of the blend.
Sometimes events leave you in a bewildered state, confused at how things have turned out the way the did. At such ties you need to use techniques that cause you to banish the mental and emotional confusion that bewilderment can bring.
Applying some 'overcoming bewilderment' oils to the forehead or back of the neck with a cold compress is a great way to bring you back into a more focused state quickly.
Taking deep inhaling breaths from a bottle of massage blend, or a mixture of grief-fighting oils, to the pulse points are also good ways of absorption when you aren't at home and need help with bewilderment.